A good basic tip is to go out and buy a sex manual. I wrote Sex by Numbers (£7.99, Piatkus) to help couples spice up their sex lives but any good tips manual will do.

One of the best ways is to say you’ve heard about something through a friend or in a magazine, and ask your partner what he thinks about it.

So you start off with, "OK, we’re on a beach in Morocco, I’m wearing a white crochet bikini and you’re wearing …" and you insert what you’d like.

It’s safer than "I want to try this out", allowing you to mention something in the game and then suggest casually you might like to try it.

He should masturbate up to a 7, which is pretty intense, and then slow down, repeating the process but never going beyond 7. This actually retrains the body.

The main thing is not to obsess about the problem – if your partner’s too stressed about it, he’s likely to keep repeating the pattern rather than overcome it.

An orgasm is the release of muscular tension so if you increase that tension by clenching and releasing your pelvic floor muscles, while using a vibrator and thinking of your favourite sex fantasy then you’re focussing mentally and physically at the same time.

Lifestyle often plays a key part and the following are the worst passion killers of all: smoking, drinking, leading a sedentary life and eating fatty foods.

All of these things affect your circulation (which can determine how much blood flows to your genitals) so they can be disastrous for libido – make changes now if you’re guilty of one, two or all four of them.

Anti-depressants and some forms of the contraceptive Pill can also affect your libido, so a visit to your GP should identify if this is where the problem lies.

Your GP might decide the problem is psychological though – you just don’t fancy your partner anymore or you’ve got self-esteem issues.

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